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What we're watching...
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For Your Arse Only from Ben Dover
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Fuck me, Ben Dover has blown us away with his newest movie, For Your Arse only. I think this has to be the most stunning collection of amateur babes I have ever seen in a porn movie, and I've watched hundreds. I just don't know how he finds them. Other producers who specialize in amateur, they get average girls, girls whose special quality is they're untouched by camera. But Ben Dover has found a harem of cuties so beautiful, so perfect, that they're worth every second of adulation and worship that Ben heaps on them the whole way through.
The show kicks off with a Bianca, a blonde professional lapdancer with a body that moves, snakelike, in a lovely sensual way, stiffening cocks all round even before she gets her kit off. Predictably, Ben and the boys ask for a dance demonstration, and the little minx obliges most thoroughly with a prick-teasing writhe on the floor, throwing a series of sexy shapes to a pulsing tune and flinging her legs wide open for the camera. After crawling up into Pascal's lap and gyrating her crotch into him, her grinding turns into moaning as he lifts up her little top to reveal her peachy round arse. The massive erection she finds in his trousers seems to send her into overdrive, as she vigorously deals with it in every way she knows how, sucking, fucking and taking a nonstop series of spitroasts and DPs from the studs.
Next comes Alexis, a bonny little lass who Ben's summoned all the way from Scotland to do her first ever movie. Now, I have a very soft spot for Scottish accents anyway, but when they're on a perfectly formed, seductive looking beauty, that lilting voice just makes me melt. Alexis has an enormous set of 30FF boobs, all soft, all natural, as Ben takes great pleasure in finding out. During the course of the fucking, she makes it very clear that she's a filthy slut who likes it hard and fast, and Ben steps up the pace, getting rougher and more verbal, with plenty of slapping and barking of orders which have her scrambling to open her arse up more, take the cock deeper, and please his studs in every way.
Those of you who like your babes black and with big booty will go crazy for Zoe, who has the body of your dreams. Her long legs and toned body, her straight hair and small waist will get your attention, and her lovely big DSL (dick sucking lips) will have you aching for relief before she's even naked. After doing a booty dance and shaking her rear end, Zoe's told to pull her pussy open, and it's so pink and delicate inside that I just wanted to dive in there and suck it dry. She obediently succumbs to Ben's whims as he has her fucked in a variety of exciting positions, making a satisfying amount of noise. What an adorable creature.
The one I really fell in lust with, though, was the second Zoe - she knows hardly a word of English but this makes her all the more adorable, because she's just 18, she's tiny and cute, and with her perky white blonde bunches, tiny tits, and tight, tight little pussy. As Ben, Pascal and Tony use her bunches as handles for blowjobs (always a favourite trick in my book), she giggles and takes a facial shafting with a few choice beautifully accented words of dirtiness. Ben gets more dominant, and with each command, she seems to melt a little more, revelling in the dirty demands he makes of her - a natural submissive who really takes pleasure in being used as a fucktoy. Lots of delightful foot action too, in among the spitting, licking and anal pounding - all of which makes her writhe and giggle in delight. I would give anything to see this little darling in a few more of Ben's movies. Anything.
The bonus scene is very entertaining, and is so blatantly authentic that you'll be wishing you had Ben's way with words, as he's met a girl at the bar, and somehow persuaded her to come back to his hotel room, give him a blowjob and let him film it. How the hell does he do that? Having talked merry and slightly drunk Shyla out of her clothes, he plonks her on the toilet seat in the bathroom and gets her to masturbate, her pussy dripping all over the place, her legs akimbo, her moans echoing around the tiles. When he loses control and presents his quivering wang, she falls on it with a massive grin of delight and brings him off in minutes, savouring every drop. A really charming and amusing scene, made all the more watchable and wankable by the inebriated happy silliness of their sexual behaviour.
All in all, a fucking brilliant Ben dover offering, with a satisfying amount of rougher, harder action and every girl a stunner. This movie proves why he's the best of his genre and loved by so many. |
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Tales of the UneXXXpected from Doll Theatre
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This series of strange and sexy anecdotes starring some of the nastiest and most luscious girls the UK has to offer has all of the high quality fun you've come to expect from Doll Theatre. These four anecdotes use their patented brand of piss-take budget special effects to bring supernatural sauciness into the usual melee of frigging, sucking and shagging.
It's always a treat when Sahara appears on our screens, with her svelte little body, unique Indian charm and downright filthy attitude. Her lazy husband falls asleep in bed when she's blatantly all revved up and raring to go, but that doesn't deter her from having a bit of a play with herself. When a comedy pair of aliens (studs in wigs) jump out of the cupboard, it doesn't take much persuasion for her to spread her legs for a good seeing to. The sex is fast and frantic, her tiny frame lending itself perfectly to being tossed around the bed by the two men, as one chokes her on cock while the other spreads her arse cheeks. This little slut really seems to like being used all round. I'd like to see her in a gangbang.
The next scenario begins with the classic 'Wife Kills Rich Husband' - Suzie Best, looking stunning in wedding lingerie - poisons the old man (Gorgeous Gee in a mask?) as he croaks how much he loves her, and starts masturbating over a well placed magazine. A pity he's wiped out so soon, he would have made a comedy stud. However, he's not gone yet - he brings babes from the land of the Dead to meet his naughty wife. Tequila Woods, Taylor Morgan and Charlie Holays look stunning in matching black lingerie and flashes of gasmasks (don't ask) as they advance slowly towards her in a menacing fashion. The masks somehow morph bizarrely from their faces to their chests, but wherever they appear, Suzie takes great pleasure in ramming the attached dildos deep into her throat. The physicality of the four girls, three of them blonde, one brunette, is beautiful - they writhe in a moaning pile, undulating their slim bodies, wherever you look, there's caressing fingers, licking, flickering tongues, and a tangle of long, stocking clad legs. And I love, love love the dildo masks.
One of my favourite locations for sex is up next for some bizarre fun - an office, an office containing dream team Elle Brook and Natalie Heck no less! The two bubbly blondes start an impromptu romp by the water cooler, pouring themselves a glass of water from floor level and using it as a sex aid, before being caught by their boss, who demands an explanation . "Comparing pussies" clearly isn't good enough, but he's distracted by the fact that he can read their minds, and it becomes clear that they're desperate to shag him. However, like most men, he can't resist their long blonde hair and charming chests, and gets stuck in with one girl after another, while the spare babe uses her fingers and tongue to good effect. A very sexy and amusing scene, with two of the cutest blondes in England, and it's an especially nice touch that they continue to call him 'Sir' all the way through. Naughty little secretaries.
After all that group sex, you'll probably be happy to wind down with the immensely sultry Taylor Morgan, whose husband refuses to give her any Christmas frolics and leaves her alone by the fire, wanking herself silly with a giant red dildo. Suddenly (as is wont to happen with Doll Theatre) Ian Tate appears dressed as Santa, and sorts her out with a real shagging. Enough said - you know what you'll be getting here - good hard action, with less of the strange and more of the classy sluttiness Taylor likes to exhibit.
A fantastic watch, with very amusing set ups and a generous amount of quality girls. The strangest thing of all, though, is that the stories involve most of them marrying such horrible, sexless old men! Oh well - thank goodness they don't mind cheating on them with these rock hard studs, or we'd be very disappointed!
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Sexpose! Swingers from Relish
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 Swinging - it's one of the oldest British turnons: sharing each others wives. However, a surprisingly small percentage of couples have actually tried it, preferring instead to indulge in the fantasy, but never know exactly what it's all about. What better way to learn about swinging, and get your rocks off at the same time, than a documentary style porno about one couple's suburban swinging party.
The couple, who look very cute and convincing, talk about why they want to swing, and the girl Cheryl, comes across as very horny indeed - although slightly coy, she obviously can't wait to get some cock.
There's a lot of groping and general flirting, which is a delicious tease as the group flit from person to person, with blokes eyeing up the girls, who respond provocatively. Even the women are heavily flirting with each other and pairing off, leaving their respective men free for group activities. Most of the couples pair off and disappear, which leaves the host and a sultry little minx - Tyrelle.
The filming is unobtrusive and raw, really showing a sense of documentary style reality. Nothing looks acted, nothing looks faked. The style of footage jumps from amateur style handcam, to gritty black and white, which adds interest and perv value. Tyrelle has a delicious slender body, which looks incredible stretched out over the sofa, and her long curly hair and lickable tits move in unison as she is bounced up and down on the springy sofa.
If you like girl/girl, you'll love the feel of the next scene - two girls who met that night, and realise on camera that they don't even know each others' names! Kellemarie and Amanda do their utmost best to answer questions for the crew, but after a while realise that they can't talk with their mouths full and pussies occupied, so they bid the lads goodbye. We get to see the rest of their sapphic session, though, and the gorgeous slim blonde and brunette get to share a huge pink double ender, as they moan in delight. A beautiful lesbian pair, very nice indeed.
Meanwhile we bear witness to a brilliantly filmed bathroom bonking session as they really make the most of the enclosed space and use every available surface for their filthy fun. Cheryl puts in an amazingly energetic performance, her large tits looking deliciously out of proportion to her tiny frame. With the sexy mirror views, and the whole thing generally feels like you're right there in the room with them.
There's more frolics, with a lot of juicy cunnilingus and lots of shagging, including anal, from Simone-Claire in the bedroom, but the most fun scene is probably the living room orgy. It starts off with some novel use of the food placed on the table, continues with lesbians and couples, even curvy Alicia Rhodes puts in an appearance. Highlights include the two pretty blondes sharing a dick, lots of banana fucking and an awesome series of moneyshots at the end. Beautiful - a sea of convincingly amateur flesh, with everyone having a great time.
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Solitaire judges Stripper of the Year award, having been twice nominated for it herself. She teaches at the London School of Striptease, as well as stripping in venues throughout London. Here she tells us about how she got into the industry - those of you who want your girlfriends and wives to learn, take notes!
I always wanted to be a stripper. It was my first ambition, age six. Twenty years on, via A Levels, a journalism degree and a successful career first in business then fashion journalism, I set out to achieve that aim.
I don’t know why, at an age when I couldn’t have understood what it really meant, I felt drawn to the profession. But some of my earliest memories are of watching James Bond films and Benny Hill shows with my dad and thinking that I wanted to be as beautiful, seductive and have as much power as those stunning women on the screen.
I was brought up in an environment where for a man to enjoy looking at an attractive woman wasn’t taboo. Dad would comment on mum’s hair or clothes, and they were openly affectionate. It wasn’t a household where everyone ran about naked, but I was never made to feel that my body was something to be ashamed of or ignored – something which has held me in good stead through teenage years and adult relationships.
Aged seven my friend and I decided to put on our first strip show. We got parents and siblings into my bedroom, climbed onto the ‘stage’ (my single bed), and started singing a ‘saucy’ tune and taking our T-shirts off. We were swiftly told to go play outside instead, and from then on my 'practice' was confined to time alone in my room.
 For the next couple of decades I kept the ambition to myself. I even forgot about it during the physical and mental traumas of puberty and under the mountain of schoolwork, 'approved' hobbies, and sensible career expectations. By the time I felt in a position to think freely for myself, post-journalism degree, in a good job and at the grand old age of 24, I thought I was past-it.
An article in a magazine about an early-30s mum who’d just got a job in Stringfellows made me realise it wasn’t too late, but how to get into such a field? It still seemed an impossible dream. I was senior editor on the fashion website for which I worked, and had everything a young woman was 'supposed' to want, but I knew I wasn't truly happy. A year later, an advert for the new London School of Striptease on the noticeboard in the dance studio where I did street dance classes provided the answer.
I signed up for Undress to Impress, the beginner’s course from the school, run by the exuberant Jo King. Over six hour-long classes, we learnt how to perform a full striptease. It was a bit nerve-wracking turning up to the first class, but then Jo told us that we wouldn't be taking our bras off until week three, by which point, she promised, we'd be "gagging to". The first week was all about eye contact – the most important element of a good striptease - and facial expression, while the second was about removing outerwear. Jo was right about week three's class and after that all nerves disappeared. We didn't get completely naked – we learnt how to take g-strings off but had to wear two pairs to the class.
 The other girls on the course were there for a variety of reasons – self confidence, a giggle with a mate, a surprise for a boyfriend. I didn't announce I was going to be a professional stripper – at that point I wasn't sure whether I was going to be or not – but I said it was something I'd wanted to try since I was little.
The beginner's course ended with a group performance – one half of the class performing to the rest of the class and vice versa - and a trip to lapdancing club Spearmint Rhino. At the time, the three songs I imagined myself stripping to were Kylie 'Can't Get You Out of My Head', Garbage ''#1 Crush' and Madonna 'Justify My Love'. As we pushed open the frost glass doors into the main bit of the club, the Kylie track started, and was followed by the Garbage track and the Madonna track. Shivers went up my spine.
Spearmint Rhino was a revelation. Before we'd arrived I'd found myself thinking "maybe this is the point at which I bottle it and realise I can never actually be a stripper for real." But I loved it. I’d never seen so many stunning women in one place – within the healthy weight boundaries, from very slender to plump, there was every size, shape and colour of body. The contrast to the world of fashion was incredible. What all the woman had in common was an apparent pride in themselves. The men were like children in Hamleys – stunned, in awe, not knowing where to look next. The experience put me on a high for days.
My next step towards my goal was to do Jo King's intermediate course, Exotic Expertease. This added floorwork and chairwork to what we'd learnt on the beginner's course. It was a smaller class – five girls – so we got more one-to-one tuition and feedback from Jo. It was also ruder, more raucous, and even more fun. At the end we had to do a solo performance to our classmates. This was nerve-wracking and we were all visibly shaking during our turns, but I loved it, and despite the nerves had a deep confidence that told me I could do it.
I'd agreed to act as a guinea-pig for two pole-dancing friends of Jo, who wanted to teach their art but needed a beginner to try their class ideas out on. That was a fortnight after the intermediate class ended. I knew that if I didn't audition for a strip club within a month of that, I’d find myself sucked back into 'sensible' considerations about my life and work, and it would never happen. So I began preparing for an audition.
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Welcome to our midsummer newsletter (OK, that was yesterday, but who's counting?) Or midwinter, if you're one of our Ozzie or Kiwi readers. We're fresh back from Stonehenge where, following ye olde English tradition, we sacrificed a goat before taking part in an all-night orgy and then watching the sun rise over the stones. Somewhat tiring, but we have an image to maintain. 
